Time for a bit of more light-hearted fun. This time comparing the acts, history and philosophy of Autobot leader Optimus Prime against those of religious icon Jesus Christ. Each character will be marked in a series of categories, with recorded feats being submitted as evidence. Some may be offended at the comparison … but, really, tough. If you can’t laugh at yourself from time to time then something is truly wrong.
ORIGINS:
Optimus Prime
Formed current incarnation when handed the Matrix by Sentinel Prime some nine million years ago. Went on to lead the Autobots against Decepticon aggression, soon becoming the greatest known Autobot leader.
Jesus Christ
Rumoured to have always been in his current form from beginning of creation but not heard from for several billion years. Appeared for approximately 35 years before being executed as a criminal. Not heard or seen from by independently verified source since.
COMPONENTS OF CHARACTER:
Main unit: Optimus Prime (robot). Secondary: Trailer Module/Missile station. Tertiary: Roller.
Jesus Christ
Main unit: Yahweh/Father. Secondary: Jesus/Son. Tertiary: Holy Ghost.
DEATHS AND RESURRECTIONS:
Optimus Prime
Has died numerous times, most famously in Transformers: The Movie (1986). Other deaths include two instances in Transformers comic books (1st series, Marvel US edition) and in the Headmasters Japanese animated series. Deaths have always been a result of Optimus Prime protecting life or defeating overwhelming odds. Has always returned from death, conquering it numerous times.
Jesus Christ
Has perished once after being executed once as a criminal (crucifixion as method of execution). Died to forgive humanity of sin but no tangible evil force defeated as such. Apparently awakened three days later and shortly left the mortal realm permanently.
MIRACLES AND ACTS OF NOTE:
Optimus Prime
Saved Earth, Cybertron and even the known Universe numerous times from threats from both Decepticon plans and murderous demi-gods. Defeated Unicron, sacrificing himself (temporarily, as per usual) in the process. Has been seen to transform his hand into energy ax, fly, and make his trailer module disappear seemingly into nothing. Routinely changes his entire form into that of a truck (other forms seen include a firetruck, sports car, and battle station among others.). Transformed the wounded Autobot Hot Rod into Rodimus Prime. These acts are well recorded in various popular media.
Jesus Christ
After resurrection was apparently in new body but this is not independently verified. Turned one liquid into another form of liquid (water into wine), walked on water, produced food from nowhere and healed the sick. Miracles not verified.
KNOWN ASSOCIATES:
Primus, god and creator of Transformers. Several hundred known giant transforming robots. Befriended by human governments world-wide, forging a strong alliance between all peoples.
Jesus Christ
Twelve men known as disciples.
USUAL M.O:
Optimus Prime
Leading forth Autobot warriors and blowing large chunks out of evil doers and villains with considerable firepower, while protecting the innocent and upholding their freedoms.
Jesus Christ
A lot of walking around and talking. No actual battles against evil recorded.
SUCCESS RATE:
Optimus Prime
Defeated archenemy, killing Megatron and his later (and more powerful) incarnation known as Galvatron. Still regarded as greatest known Autobot, actions heralded in times of peace and prosperity for Humans and Autobots alike.
Jesus Christ
Reported archenemy still at large and in control of his domain. Little to no long term peace for humans (or Autobots).
UNDERLYING PHILOSOPHY:
Optimus Prime
“Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”
Jesus Christ
“There is no salvation except through me.”
REFERENCES:
Optimus Prime
Movies (1986 & 2007), Novels, Comic Books (numerous series from Marvel, Dreamwave and IDW), Animated series (US and Japan).
Jesus Christ
The Bible.
Filed under: Animation, Comedy, Religion, Television | Tagged: Autobots, Jesus, Optimus, Parody, Prime, Satire, Transformers
After all that, I would follow Optimus Prime.
Cute. Really. Made me smile.
One quibble: I would suggest that “underlying philosophy” for JC might be changed to “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” I mean, give the poor guy a LITTLE credit.
-smith
My number one complaint against them both: why come to earth in such a simple form?
Doesn’t this kind of hurt your “atheists are nice people” theme? I mean if you already know some will find it offensive, your rationale is that it is important to laugh, and you post it anyway, then I guess I still can understand the need to vent. One side of things seems pretty inaccurate to its nature.. something that is objectively descriptive, equally, for both sides, might actually have been compelling stuff… but this is just painting an easy target and forgoing conclusions in the hopes that no one cares enough to object, and all for a cheap laugh. I suppose someone has to be the butt of jokes…but it does seem awfully cheap. I guess for an exercise it is okay, but not really funny, just inaccurate and offensive.
It’s a comedy piece and nothing listed is false.
Hmm…
Haha, who gets offended by factual information? Technically all he did was list stuff about optimus and stuff about Jesus, get over it.
[...] attenti al copyright! Che meraviglia, mi dai finalmente l’occasione per postare questo: Optimus Prime vs. Jesus Christ This time comparing the acts, history and philosophy of Autobot leader Optimus Prime against [...]
… does anyone have any idea what that is all about? I’m not even sure what language that is.
It looks like a religious forum of some kind.
The language is Italian. I tried running it through babelfish, but as usual, the translation is almost as incomprehensible as the original.
Apparently Optimus Prime kicks Jesus’s asses.
Okay, I get it. It’s supposed to be comedy. But if you’re going to pit Jesus against a made up figure then you’d have to use the words “apparently”, “supposedly”, and “not verified” for both. It seems that you’re aguing mostly for the disbelief in Jesus and a little for the belief in a real optimus.
Optimus, I will follow you to the end. And for jon i’d like to say that i found all the facts given fair, optimus is more real to me than jesus. Far more respectable.
And to Lew Moxon’s Ghost i’d like to say: Lighten up for Primes sake, you take this way to serious!
Live long and prosper.
Kinda funny, I gotta agree that NEITHER of them is real. After all, when is the last time anyone saw a talking transforming car/robot. For that matter when was the last time anyone saw JC? they are both a funny fiction IMHO.
i enjoyed the comparisons